Hyrule Harem: A Link Between Girls
by Super Nintendo Power
Summary: Someone had to do it.
1. Chapter 1

_Harem Warriors_

Lana wasn't exactly sure what to make of the pickle they had found themselves in, if she were to be completely honest.

"Could anyone please, please, please tell me what this conflict is all about... again?" She pleaded to her Queen, the ever regal Zelda.

Zelda seemed rather taken aback at being addressed in such a way, but almost immediately complied. "As you know, the evil witch Cia has brought forth many fierce monsters and warriors throughout time to fight for her cause. As Warriors of Hyrule, it is our duty to..."

"I know THAT." Lana said impatiently. She flipped her hair irritably over she shoulder. "But what's her reason?"

"Her..." The queen bit her lip. "Reason?"

"Yeah!" Lana nodded, clearly enthusiastic as she could be. "Cause, justification, motive... Take her pick?"

"I- I don't understand." Zelda said. She looked down at the ground.

"Why?" She said bluntly. "Why is she attacking our homes, killing our families, and forcing us all to take up arms against her?"

Zelda's mind was whirling. "Um. Yeah. This is strictly on a need to know basis, and you don't need to know-"

Lana huffed. "Fine. You win." Getting to her feet, she glared down at her. "But I'm not going to let this rest, you hear me?"

Zelda gave a soft, annoyed sigh. "I understand." She said dully. "But I..." She bit her lip. "Cannot tell you."

"You're unbelievable." Lana scoffed. "What kind of Princess..." She stopped, corrected herself, and began to plow ahead. "QUEEN would refuse to inform her subjects of such vital information?"

"Don't be ridiculous!" Zelda snapped. "I... I want to tell you..." She looked somewhat troubled.

"Then spill it!" Lana demanded.

She looked down. "I... need some time alone." She dashed off.

Lana looked on after her, her natural curiousity almost overtaking her anger. She had seemed genuinely upset at not being able to explain herself... that, coupled with the turbelent nature of the situation they had found themselves in, led to her feeling a sense of dread, deep within her stomach.

Zelda was her Princess.. (Queen now, she reminded herself sharply) and if something was bothering her enough to harm the war effort... why, it was her duty as a soldier to try and make things right.

It was decided then! She will do whatever it takes to uncover the truth, make the Princess happy, and maybe even save the Kingdom!

...

And of course, that meant nothing more than following Zelda around everywhere she went.

Military leaders spent an awful lot of time in their tents, she thought irritably, as she ducked beneath a tree. Zelda had only left her tent twice since they had made camp here...all the business of the army seemed to be brought to her. She only left early in the mornings, to practice with her weapons.

Yet today was different.

She noted a nearby squirrel, and in an attempt to appear more stealthily, she began to imitate it, crawling along the leaves.

She pressed her head into the ground when Zelda looked over her shoulder, but she seemed to not feel as if anything were wrong. She even began to whistle softly, a nice little melody.

She didn't suspect a thing, Lana thought, almost giddily, as she raised her head... only to slammed back into the ground.

"What..." A rough, tough, and distintly unwelcome voice growled out at her. "Do you think you're doing?"

She tried to speak, but couldn't even bring her head upward, due to the pressure being exerted onto her head.

The pressure alleivated. She rolled out onto her back, gasping for air, as she tried to scowl up a t her attacker. "What was that for?"

The Sheikan warrior stared down at her, her red eyes unblinking. "What were you doing?" She repeated.

"I was..." She hesitated. "Looking for nuts! Yeah..." She got onto her knees and began ferreting around in the undergrowth. "Rations are really getting to me, and my grandmother taught me this really good recipe you take a whole bunch of nuts and stick them in a pot..."

Impa did not crack a smile. "You were following the Queen." She said. It wasn't a question.

"I was not!" Lana said, trying to keep her voice from cracking. "I have better things to do..."

Impa drew her sword. Lana quickly shut her mouth.

"Better things to do, hmmm...?" Impa asked, as she lowered the blade, running it across Lana's cheek. "I somehow doubt that, considering how you've been following the Queen for the past two days."

Lana flinched. She almost felt like she would burst into tears.

"I don't want you going near her again." Impa said, speaking slowly, yet clearly.

"Yes..." Lana said, glumly.

"And as punishment..." Impa gave a thoughtful expression. "You can help train the new recruits. They need all the experience they can get against magic users."

"What?" Lana blinked. "No! That's far below my station... I can't risk getting hurt in a training accident! You need me to combat..."

"You will need all the training you can get, if you wish to take on the Dark Forces." She said. The conversation was over.

Lana glumly got up and walked away, her shoulders sagging.

No one wanted to deal with any of the new recruits. All of them were lazy, drafted bums from the sticks, who did not know the first thing about honor and would abandon them all at the first oppurtunity.

Surely nothing good could come of this.

...

She had almost thought she had walked onto the wrong field. It was completely empty. But no... this was the place.

But there was only one man here. She scowled. Even when it came to simple things like training, these people would not bother to show up punctually...

"Hey!" She shouted over to the man. "Where are the rest of your..."

He looked over at her, and she found herself gasping. Because there, sitting on his hat... was... a FAIRY.

"Oh, how cute!" She chirped, as she flounced over to him. Yanking the hat off of his head, she peered intently on the, admittedly rather startled, fairy.

"Hey!" She snapped. Leaping up, she bopped Lana on the nose, with surprising strength for a fairy. She gasped... her arm, rather like a bee sting, penetrating her very skin... and, apparently, that was enough to give her a nosebleed.

"Ah!" She shrieked, as she pulled away. Covering her nose with her hands, she tried to hold back her tears as she glared at the fairy. The fairy, clearly unsympathetic, gave her one last glare before flying off.

She almost chased after it in order to crush it with her book, but she was surprised to see that the soldier had taken her hand.

"Hey..." She said, her voice low and soft. "What are you..."

She gave a surprised gasp as he pulled her closer. She looked up at him, her eyes wide, as he took his scarf with his hand. Reaching out, he gently rubbed the cloth over her nose, cleaning off all the blood.

"Um." She said. She pulled away slightly as she touched her nose with her finger, making sure that she was presentable. "Thanks."

He still didn't speak. He seemed to be a bit pre-occupied with his scarf.

"It's not that dirty, is it?" She asked, slightly concerned. "I really am sorry."

"It's not your fault." He said. She almost found her swooning at the sound of his voice. He was just so... SUAVE.

He did not notice her expression, however, as he was still examining the scarf. "I'm used to getting blood on it anyway." He threw the scarf over his shoulder, and it began to blow in the wind. Lana could not bring herself to stop staring.

"Aren't you going to clean it off?" She suggested.

"Nah." He said. "I'm supposed to be trained by one of Zelda's personal sorceress's today. I can't just blow her off..."

"Oh, but that's me!" Lana said, her mood brightening.

"You?" He asked. He seemed genuinely taken aback. "Oh, I'm so sorry... please forgive me, My Lady."

She giggled at his change of expression. Giving a small curtesy, she looked up at him, a playful grin on her face. "That's Lady Lana to you, recruit." She said.

They stared each other down. Then they begin to laugh.

"I'll be sure to show my respects properly next time, my Lady Lana." He said. "I am only a humble recruit, please forgive me for my lack of manners." He gave another short laugh.

"Hm." She cupped her face in her hands as she looked him over. "Normally, I would overlook such a slight. However, your fairy did give me a nosebleed."

They stared at each other. And laughed again.

"But seriously," She said, as she took his hand again. "It's just Lana, okay?"

"Lana." He echoed. "What a lovely name."

She blushed. "And you're sweet talking me before I even know your name." She didn't let go of his hand. Instead, she trailed her fingers along the back of it. "I'm not sure how to feel about that."

"Well, we're going to be stuck together for the entiriety of this campaign." He said. "We might as well get to know each other."

She would probably faint for real if this kept up. Ugh.

"I really do think you need to clean that scarf off." She said.

"Yeah, maybe." He said. He pulled away from her, much from her annoyance, and looked it over again. "There's a river near here... it should wash right out."

"I suppose we can go through our drills by the river." Lana said. "It's just the two of us, right?"

He nodded.

_Oh, Nayru! I am not worthy...!_

"Great!" She chirped, as she took his hand. "We're going to have a nice workout!"

...

Lana found herself a very happy girl later that night.

Her comrades seemed to be rather taken aback at her being on completely at bliss, but she didn't really care. Humming an epic, adventurous tune to herself, she danced around the campfire, poking the flames with a stick.

"Be careful not to trod on any of my people." Agatha reminded her, as she returned to her knitting. "They have a tendency to wander underfoot."

"Oh, but of course, Agatha!" She sang. Spinning on one foot, she twirled in circles. "Anything you want, O Princess of Insects!"

"You found a mate, then?" Agatha inquired.

Lana stopped dancing. "Excuse me?"

"You seem way too happy tonight." She explained. "You had a lover."

She found herself blushing again, this time much more furiously. "I... yes." She sighed, completely at bliss. "It was wonderful..."

"I'm glad." She said. She continued to observe the ground beneath her, looking for bugs. "How'd he taste?"

"Delicious." She sighed again, as she sat down. Spreading her legs wide, she sighed again, staring into the fire.

"Eating the head is rather delightful, isn't it?"

"Uh huh." She was starting to fantasize again.

"Well, you only mate once. I suppose it makes sense to savor it."

Lana almost nodded again. Then she caught herself. "Wait. What are you talking about?"

"Pardon?"

"What's with all of this 'you only mate once' garbage?"

She looked confused. "Once per partner, I suppose. If you want to find another partner this mating season, I suppose-"

"Another partner?" She wrinkled her nose. "Why would I want to find another?"

There was a very awkward pause.

"I'm never talking to you again." Lana declared. She leapt to her feet, and disappeared into the dark.

Agatha sighed to herself. "What a strange girl." She said aloud.


	2. Relaxation

Lana was usually quite happy to go about her duties in the army, but today she felt rather antsy. She knew it was wrong of her to feel this way, but she was seriously consideriing shirking her duties and go look for Link again.

Lovesickness really was an absolute pain, she thought grimly to herself as they marched. THey would have their entire lives to spend together once this was all over...

She blushed. Now THAT was planning a little far ahead. One fantastic 'training' session was not exactly grounds enough to propose a marriage between them. And she doubted that the Queen would approve. Lana was crucial in the fight against the dark forces. They could not afford to lose her to anything, whether that was death, sickness... or love.

She was so lost in her thoughts, that she almost didn't notice that Zelda was walking in the opposite direction... that is, until they crashed into each other.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, my lady!" Lana said, her voice panicky, as she helped her to her feet. "Are you alright?"

"I... am fine, Lana." Zelda said. She nodded. "Yes. I'm perfectly fine."

"Are you sure?" Lana asked. She reached out a hand and brushed the dirt and dust off her dress.

"Yes!" She snapped. Lana pulled back, flinching.

Zelda almost immediately took on a much more apologetic expression. "I'm so sorry." She said. "Please... I... have a lot on my mind right now."

"We all do." Lana said stiffly.

They stood at a distance apart from each other, staring at each other.

"Please, Lana." Zelda said softly. "I was just about to take a break from work to spend some time in the hot springs. Why don't you join me?"

It wasn't exactly an order, but Lana knew better than to refuse her request.

"I didn't even know we had captured a hot spring." She confessed. "I have nothing to wear."

"That won't be a problem." Zelda said. "Please. Follow me."

Impa wasn't going to like this... She thought glumly, as she followed her into the woods. She better mind her manners.

...

She almost immediately forget her worries when she stepped into the spring.

"Wow..." She moaned, as she slid into the water. "It's sooooooooooo WARM..."

She barely registered the soft smile Zelda gave her as she slid in next to her. "It is, isn't it?" She said. "Don't tell Impa this..." She looked to the left and right, before leaning in to whisper in Lana's ear. "We came here just because I wanted a soak."

Lana laughed, despite herself. "During a war?"

"Uh huh." Zelda nodded.

"Why?"

Zelda winked at her. "To prevent the enemy from coming here, of course!"

They both had a good laugh at that. Lana found herself marveling over how funny Zelda could be, when she had the chance to loosen up.

"You've been looking really happy lately." Zelda commented. "What have you been doing, then?"

Lana flinched. A memory surfaced of her lying flat on her back by the river, her legs wrapped around Link's waist.

"Oh. U-um..." She giggled softly. "N-nothing..."

Zelda looked somewhat surprised at this. "Really?" She asked. "You've been grinning like a goron all day!"

Lana blushed. This was NOT the time to be dealing with this.

"Oh... well... It's only natural." She said lamely, avoiding her Queen's eye. "The enemy hasn't really moved in on this location much, so I'm just taking the time to unwind."

Zelda nodded, in a way showing that she understood. "I'm glad you're not working yourself too hard." She said. "I hear you worked with out new recruit?"

She gave a sharp blush. "W-worked w-with?" She stammered. "I-I have no idea what you're t-t-talking about."

"Link told me he met with you and ran you through with some drills." Zelda said.

Oh, he had certainly run through her alright... with a rather large drill...

"Oh... y-yeah..." She gulped. "He did."

She beamed at her. "He's really something else, isn't he?" she said.

Her nervousness almost instantly vanished as a new, much more violent emotion emerged in her.

"What do you mean?" She asked, trying to keep her rage in check.

"He's an absolutely incredible soldier." Zelda informed her. "He's incredibly resourceful, and has been a huge asset to our cause..." She put on a thoughtful expression. "I was thinking of having him work alongside you, actually."

She wasn't sure whether she should slap Zelda or try to kiss her.

"I... kind of liked him." She admitted. "He really knew how to-" She paused. "Use a sword."

"He told me you're excellent at giving massages." She commented.

She sputtered. "I... he told you what?" Of all the things to tell her... he told her an outright lie?

She did not give Link a massage. She did lots of other things with him that she didn't want Zelda to know about, but a massage of all things?

"Um." Her mind racing, she decided to just go with the flow. "Y-yeah."

She had no idea why Link would lie to their queen like that. However, since she actually had a good reason TO keep Zelda in the dark about what had actually happened, she had no choice but to go with the flow.

"I did not know that." Zelda said. She sounded impressed.

Oh please, no don't let what's going to happen happen...

"Maybe you could give me a massage!" Zelda said cheerfully.

Uuuuuuuuugggggh...

...

"That was wonderful, Lana." Zelda purred, as she lay against the rock they had used in place of a proper table.

"Thanks... I guess?" Lana was a little unnverved at how blissful she looked, but decided to let it go. "So I was wondering... where would I find Link? If we're going to be working together, I need-"

"Training, I imagine." Zelda said airily. "Try the training ground."

"I will!" Lana said. "Thank you!"

She was off.

Zelda gave another blissful sigh as someone else came from the woods.

"You were watching all of that, weren't you?" She sighed.

He laughed. "Of course not, Princess." He said. "I only just arrived."

"Show some respect to your superiors." She said, her eyes closing.

"I am nothing more than a simple knight, milady." He answered. "How would I do that...?"

"It varies from person to person." She said. Lifting herself up slightly, she rotated her body so that she was facing him, her legs spread wide. "I think there's only one thing that you can do to please me." She cooed.


	3. Dark

Lana gave another annoyed sigh as she sat, sloucing slightly, atop a rather large log.

"I don't understand her sometimes." She complained to her companion. "Other times she acts like she doesn't even know me. Other times, she's forcing me to give her massages."

Midna giggled slightly, as she hovered up into the air.

"She's just anxious." She said. Turning slightly in midair, she turned to look over at her, and winked. "We all are."

"Yeah, we are." Lana agreed. She sighed. "Oh, what I wouldn't give to lie in bed all day." She lamented.

Midna laughed again. "Of course you do." She teased. She floated upward, out of Lana's reach, as she smirked down at her. "You're rather lazy, I've noticed. Unlike your boyfriend..."

Lana spluttered.

"My... My WHAT!" She said. She started blushing. "I-I don't know what you mean."

"Uh huh." Midna said. "Which is exactly why you and Link keep sneaking off into the woods together the instant Zelda turns her back..."

"It's- it's not like that at all!" Lana protested. "We're... we were just training..."

"Training?" Midna asked, cocking an eyebrow. "Of what kind?"

"Well..." Lana said slowly, her mind whirling. She bit her lip. "Well... he's been promoted recently, so I've been showing him the ropes of commanding the army..."

To her very great relief, and surprise, Midna accepted this answer.

"Yes, that's good." She said. Her eyes glinting. "That's very good."

Lana did not like that look at all.

"Um. Yes." She said. "He's an excellent soldier, but he needs a bit more brushing up on his leadership-"

"So you're really not together then?" Midna asked bluntly.

Well, they had been together... dozens of times. Each one more lovely and wonderful than the last. But since she couldn't quite figure out how to force (Errr... coerce) him into marriage just yet, she gave a simple shake of her head.

"Really?" She said happily. "You're not pulling my leg?"

Lana had a very bad feeling about this. She nodded.

Midna gave a blissful sigh as she descended, right on top of Lana's head.

"I'm so very glad to hear that." She said, as she tugged on Lana's hair, causing her to shriek in pain. "I mean... really, a man like that..."

Lana had never heard Midna speak of anyone in this way before, and something about the reverence she uttered her words with really bothered her.

"He knows how to use a sword." Lana said cautiously. "That's something, I guess..."

"Hmmm."

Hoping to the goddesses that she hadn't taken that the wrong way, Lana quickly tried to steer the conversation in her favor. "He has an absolutely horrible personality." She said. "Wicked, awful, terrible temper."

"What?" Midna said. That got her attention. "He wasn't rude to you, was he?"

"Oh yeah." Lana said, nodding vigorously, nearly throwing Midna off of her head. "Yeah, when I showed up to train him, he got mad at me for not being as pretty as Zelda. He then tried to... Um... make me show more skin!"

"What?" Midna said. "That's terrible!"

"Yeah, he is." Lana agreed quickly. "I wouldn't go anywhere near him if I were you. He's the sort of person who only has time for the prettiest, most important women in the army.

She blinked. A drop of water had spilled onto her leg. At first she had thought it was raining, but it wasn't until Midna spoke again that she realized what it was.

"Pr-pretty?" Midna repeated. Her entire demeanor had changed again. "He only talks to... pretty girls?"

Another tear drop splattered onto her leg as Lana immediately tried to backtrack.

"No, Midna, please don't... I didn't mean it that way... you look perfectly fine."

"No I don't!" She shrieked. "I'm hideous!"

Breaking out into full sobs, she soared off into the forest.

Lana stared after her, wondering if maybe... MAYBE she was being a bit of a bitch.

...

Midna's sobs almost seemed to echo throughout the entire forest. It was lonely, dark, and quiet. Usually the sort of environment she liked, but now she just felt misereable and lonely.

Her new shape certainly had it's perks. It was fun simply doing things she couldn't have done in her old body. Riding on people's shoulders, swooping down at Impa from above, and simply being very mischeivious.

And yet, Lana's words stung. She had tried to distance herself from her past, and for good reason. She absolutely hated her duties as a Princess. But now that she had her freedom, at the cost of her old body...

Tears began to well up inside her again. A sob rang out, she couldn't hold it back any longer. Oh, how she longed to be like Zelda... noble and brave and willing to work hard to protect her people. She was just an imp. A monster.

"Midna?"

She stiffened. Someone was watching her, in the shadows.

"Are you alright?" The voice was so soft, so warm, so caring.

"I- go away!" She snapped. "Whoever you are... leave me!"

She tried to sound bold, fearless, without a care in the world, But she couldn't do it. Another sob broke past her facade, and she found herself hiding her face in her hands.

Hands wrapped around her shoulders.

"It's me." Link whispered. "It's going to be alright."

The sat there, in the darkness, alone. She desperately tried to stop crying, but couldn't.

"I'm such a selfish person." She confessed. "Zelda is working herself to the bone to help me win back my crown, and I... I can't even..."

"We don't need you to be a leader, Midna." He said. "We just need you to be here for us. All of us."

"But I'm worthless." Midna moaned. "As a Princess, as a soldier, as a per-"

"Don't you dare say that." Link snapped. "We need you Midna. And you need us."

She brushed off his touch, and hovered a little ways away from where he was kneeling. "I... I know." She admitted. "I need to be stronger, Link." Reaching forward, she cupped his face in her hand. "You've always been so good to me." She murmured.

He smiled back at her. "I am your humble servant, milady."

"Is... that all you are?" She asked. Disappointment evident in her voice. "Of course..." She said bitterly. "I look like a freak."

He frowned. "What do you mean?" He asked, confusion evident in his voice. "Midna, you're a brave woman, and one of our dearest allies. And you also happen to be really fucking hot."

Despite herself, she erupted into a fit of giggles. "Wow..." She snickered. "What a prince charming you are."

...

"This can't go on." Lana raged to herself, as she began to pace back and forth in her tent. "Midna wants to be with him, he's spending far too much time with Zelda, and even Impa has been shooting weird little looks his way..."

She groaned. Having competition in something like this absolutely blew. Knowing that her lover had a lot of options in her life made her feel very uncomfortable and insecure. Any one of those shrews could keep him away from her for the rest of their lives.

"There has to be something I could do..." She muttered. Leaving the tent, she found herself taking a walk in the dark... and her eyes fell onto Sheik, the mysterious time traveling man from the future.

"Or... someone."

Link wasn't the only one with options. She decided, as she skipped over to him. SHe would make him long for her, realize just how wonderful she was, and he would make her his... forever.

She just needed to make him jealous first. No sweat.


End file.
